I’m feeling a need to reconnect with my art. This need is one of the main reasons that I started this blog. The extra challenge as a dancer is that I need to make time for both pursuing the artistic side of life while attempting to keep my body in top form. As I do this semi-professionally, I have to squeeze in both around a day job, family, friends, and house responsibilities. In addition, I run a small studio and dance company filled with some wonderful avocational dancers. It’s a challenge. Keeping the energy up through it all has been especially difficult of late. I have disconnected. Mentally, the art no longer flows. It’s been a struggle to create even when I’m up against a deadline (my usual font of inspiration). Physically, I have reduced my workouts to the bare minimum needed to meet the demands of my dance form. I have all of these threads, the warp that connects me to my art, woven in between the weft of daily life. Several threads have broken.
I could stop dancing, and perhaps I would find something to replace it all. I could mend the threadbare spots with a different art form entirely. But I know I would miss the comfort of my dance fabric. I already do. I miss the joy that my art brings to my life. I truly love the feel of music in my body. There is nothing to match the emotion of a song bubbling to the surface and becoming physically manifest through dance. And everything pales in comparison to the satisfaction of achieving that state of emotion.
I have missed this depth of connection of late, this fabric that warms my soul. I definitely do not want to cut what remains, threadbare though it may be. All that’s left is to figure out how to rebuild and reinforce the rest. Welcome to my process.
Dance, when you’re broken open. Dance, if you’ve torn the bandage off. Dance in the middle of the fighting. Dance in your blood. Dance when you’re perfectly free. ~Rumi